Emotion (and how mine is constantly toyed with)

Sob. I am gone.
About ten minutes ago I finished series two of the fantastic show Doctor Who, which meant the departure of one of my favorite characters and the ending of a beautiful relationship.  I think I might look more distraught than I get post-Notebook. Why oh why must fictional characters and scenarios move me so much? Logically, they have not ever existed.  So why do I care so much about what happens to them? If emotion is so painful, why do we choose to care at all?

Emotion is something that really fascinates me.  In general, culture tells us to mask our feelings.  Expressing a profusion of emotion in public is frowned upon.  If you know me, chances are very high that you've seen me cry on at least one occasion.  As an individual I am just awful at hiding emotion.  Many people wear their hearts on their sleeves, I wear mine on my face.  Which has its disadvantages.  But if we try and disassociate ourselves with our own emotions it only makes us seem like rocks rather than humans.  Although expressing emotion is seen to be weak, I think it really just makes you stronger as a person.  Sometimes the energy just needs to be released and expressed, whether through words or tears. 

A little while ago, my friend posed to me an interesting question: Would I rather the entire world be eternally happy or keep things the way they are? Instinctually, I said I would make the world happy.  Then I thought about it, and changed my mind.  There is something beautiful about pain, because to have pain means that you cared.  Something of yourself was invested, otherwise it could not have hurt.  And I believe that you can never have true happiness without also having experienced agony.  The contrast is what makes the bliss so wonderful.  

DARREN CRISS IS A TEENAGE DREAMBOAT

For my birthday I received Darren Criss concert tickets. Who is Darren Criss? He's an extremely attractive human being with the most gorgeous voice and face and hair and a whole ton of talent.

Darren is this guy on Glee

And this guy in the viral YouTube hit A Very Potter Musical

And overall just a really lovely person. Naturally, when I heard he was going on a solo tour, I had to go see him!

So I arrived at the venue about two hours early, thinking we would be some of the first people there.  I was wrong.  Apparently, fans had been lined up for about five hours, in the rain.  I felt like a very undedicated fan, but oh well, I got in line and waited for the doors to open.
Finally, when we got in, we rushed to the front of the room, trying to get as close to the stage as possible.  I was shocked, despite the large number of teenage girls who were ahead in line, we were still able to get super close to where Darren would shortly be standing. Ahhhh!!! The excitement began!!!

After a lot of standing and waiting and calf cramps the first warmup act took to the stage.  They were a violin duo from Brooklyn, and surprisingly really good! Then came Darren's old college bestie who played a very long, but enjoyable, set.

FINALLY, my future husband emerged from the wings and made it to the stage.  The whole crowd of crazed teen girls went nuts, naturally.  He opened with a version of Circle of Life, yes the song from the Lion King.  He came out like a little Simba, finally exposed to the adoring crowd of his followers.

If I had any doubts about how good he would sound live, they were instantly squelched.  Oh my Rowling if anything, Darren sounded even better in person.  All the songs he sang were perfectly chosen and executed. My favorite was probably Teenage Dream, a classic cover of his.  He started it all soft and quiet on the piano with some violin background, then jumped up and finished on guitar.  Sometimes he gets really emotional during that song, and I couldn't tell whether he was crying or just really sweaty.   I made actual eye contact with him twice.  I think we had a moment.

Darren went off on a few little (curse-filled) rants (so glad my dad got to hear that; literally Darren's first sentence was "It's so f***ing hot in here!") and he got all adorable and philosophical.  He talked about how he feels so connected to others because of the internet and television, yet at the same time there's always a screen between him and the viewer.  Which is why he likes playing live for people. He went on for a bit about how proud he was to be an American after the recent supreme court rulings in California.  He also talked about how sexy is just another word for confidence, and his hopes that people can just be confident being who they are.  I really like just hearing him speak, it's magical. 

The whole show, in fact, was magical.  I'll go back and add in some pictures I took when I get around to uploading them, but for now just trust me that he was beautiful.  Of course, he ended with Circle of Life as well.  You can't start with it and not end with it.  It's a circle.  Of life.  Anyways, I'm still on cloud nine and I've been wearing my T-shirt with his face on it every chance I get.  It makes me feel so close to him<3

 When my fiance left the stage he yelled "I love you all!" WELL I LOVE YOU BACK DARREN! 

Hope you all have a lovely week!

Bye!